There is pressure on everyone to be visible. We are in the habit of posting about everything we do and sharing our lives online for everyone’s viewing. As a performing musician I used to feel pressure to post regularly, which necessitates having shows to talk about and news to share. I felt pressure to stay relevant.
Despite that pressure, or maybe partially in response to it, I stopped posting on social media earlier this year. It has been an almost entirely positive experience for me. I still check Instagram when I open my laptop, but because I don’t post there’s no interaction waiting there to give me a hit of attention - no likes or shares to feed the desire to post again. And Instagram’s functionality is limited on a computer, so it only keeps my attention for about four minutes before I’m done with it. A perfect little amount for me.
The only downside I have experienced of being off social media is that two private events I host are harder to invite my friends to without the use of a facebook event, and it’s harder for us to share photos with each other afterward. That’s it. Private event photo sharing, I miss.
What I’ve gained is, ironically, a lack of awareness about all the events and fancy, shiny stuff going on around me that only make me feel anxious or like I should be doing some fancy, shiny stuff of my own to share. I have gained the conviction that my creative impulses are truly my own and not spurred by a need to keep up with the musical Joneses. I don’t see other people’s tour dates and wonder if I should book a tour. I don’t see people booking festivals and feel like I’m falling behind if I don’t do the same. I am off the hamster wheel, and conversely I am creating more than ever because I have more time. I probably spent an hour or two per day on Facebook and Instagram. It didn’t feel like a lot but that’s a LOT of time! An hour or two available for songwriting, recording, guitar practice, sewing, baking, walking, reading, sleeping would be fantastic wouldn’t it? Guess what? It is.
But can I admit something else? I get bored a lot these days. I have chunks of time while my kids are at school and before my students have arrived or my plans for the day have begun when I don’t quite know what to do with myself. It’s a bit unsettling and I’m confused by it a lot of the time, but I think it also translates into more writing, reading and walking, more picking up my guitar just because. I don’t like feeling bored, it makes me antsy to feel like I don’t have enough to do, but when I think about it in this context I realize I might have just as much to do as I ever did, except for the two hours of scrolling every day.
Boredom feels gross and itchy and uncomfortable and it’s also a necessary ingredient for creativity. In parenting circles people talk about how kids need lots of time to be bored so they can get creative and make their own fun. I need the same thing, but like a child I will seek out ways to distract myself rather than allow myself to be bored. Removing my easiest and most addictive distraction, social media, has created pockets of boredom in my life; I am not yet comfortable with them and I also think they are very good for me.
I was meeting with a collaborator last week about a project we are starting (I promise to give you a proper launch announcement in the near future.) I am creating things that will go out online, so an obvious question from her was whether or not I would use social media to promote them. I wavered a moment, because it’s hard to fight the prevailing narrative that you need to use social media to get the word out. I hemmed and hawed but eventually stuck to my original plan: I will not use social media. I expect the benefits won’t outweigh the cost for me.
What is the cost of using social media? Well, not to be dramatic, but the cost is my peace. The cost is higher anxiety, losing that creativity-boosting boredom, and returning to a heightened awareness of (and caring about) what other people are doing or thinking. The cost is one or two hours of my time every day.
What would the benefits be if I decided to rejoin the world of the socials? In theory, more people will know about my projects, which in theory means more people will listen, maybe buy my stuff, maybe attend my events. I say “in theory” because my experience with social media has always been mixed; sometimes you get good visibility and sometimes the powers that be show your post to 42 people and all your time and energy on that post feels wasted. Also, views on social media did not historically translate to much for me. Facebook events worked to get local folks to my shows, and that was about it. Everything else was more fodder for the machine, more stuff people scrolled past the same way I scroll past everyone else’s posts. It might register for someone, but I think I can achieve the same level of visibility and get on people’s radar with this newsletter, personal invitations, creative marketing materials, and YouTube (which has the enormous benefit of not sucking me in to scroll for hours at a time).
Complete and full disclosure, though: I am still afraid of being irrelevant. I am afraid that my recent online invisibility has had a negative effect on my career. I am afraid that my upcoming projects will flop because no one will know about them.
But I don’t think any of these fears are reasons for me to do something that will disturb my peace. And I know that none of these fears have anything to do with why I create.
If I make something I love and it is irrelevant to others, that’s not failure.
If my career has shrunk because of my invisibility, so be it. A small, engaged group of folks who connect with my work is all I need.
My upcoming projects will not succeed or flop on the basis of Instagram and Facebook, I really believe that to be true. I work hard, have a plan in place, have a beautiful team in place, and will do all the necessary things to promote and market my projects other than social media. This is an opportunity, actually, to challenge this fear and hopefully give myself proof that it is unfounded. But if the projects “flop” will it really be so different from my previous album? By the metrics of the music industry my 2022 EP, In Spite of Everything, was a flop because it has scant listens online and even fewer sales. But that album got played on CBC, got me booked for a festival, and launched me on the path of taking myself seriously as a songwriter.
I could be so lucky to flop that hard again.
xo
Shannon
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