Do you know what it feels like when you can’t get inside your own brain? When you have been getting shit done but it feels like you’re living outside of yourself? Do you relate to how disconcerting it is for me to open my laptop to write and only have practical, so-called useful topics come to mind? To find my brain searching for show announcements or marketing materials I should be showcasing, instead of letting the words flow? To be writing because I’ve got a weekly schedule and not because I love writing?
I have been living on the surface lately, not even dipping a toe into the deeper waters. I am taking care of all my family’s needs, two extremely busy teens and a husband I’ve barely seen in three months because of the harvest. I’ve kept my head down and kept myself focused. My family needs me in this role and I don’t mind doing it, but I do mind that I’ve thrown myself so far into it that I’ve lost touch with my creative self. I mind that I don’t look forward to my morning pages. I mind that writing these newsletters hasn’t been a creative act. I mind that I can’t even consider writing or editing a song because that side of my brain is switched off.
That’s what it is! The switch inside me has been flipped all the way to one side, so that the creative part of my brain is shut off in favour of the “get shit done and don’t ask questions” side of my brain. Yes, that’s its scientific name.
This moment right here, typing these words, is my alert system that the balance is off. (That such a moment comes only through writing is proof that I need to do it!) It is one thing to adjust my life and schedule to support my family in their ever growing interests and needs. It is another thing entirely to lose touch with the part of myself that makes me whole.
When I’ve had spare time these past few days do you know what I’ve written? To do lists. Jesus, Shannon, get it together. Writing a to do list when I could be writing a song? No, no, no. Something must be done.
I am hereby giving myself a permission slip to use any and all spare time I have for the rest of 2025 to be an artist. To create. To play.
I am including an addendum that says my creativity does not have to be in service of any projects I’ll share publicly. It can be collaging, candle-making, sewing pillowcases. It can be doodling, writing bad poetry, decorating cookies. The less I care how good it is, the better.
When I get too far removed from play, my connection to myself dries up. I learn and forget and learn and forget this lesson over and over again. ‘Tis the season to be reminded and to give myself permission to be who I am and do what brings me joy.
And hey, while I’m writing permission slips, could you use one too?
xo
Shannon
No Upcoming Shows on the horizon. I have some fun things coming up in 2026 and I’ll tell you all about them in the new year. In the meantime, if you need me, check Fabricland or Michael’s.
Featured Song - Only in Sleep (performed by Safe Harbour)
I spent several glorious years singing with the Safe Harbour Chamber Choir, and this video is from one of our concerts with SONG (Sounds of the Next Generation). I was fortunate to be the soloist on this exquisite, nostalgic song, sharing the stage with some of my favourite people and the concert with the excited young musicians of SONG. I hope this gives you the same feeling of warmth it brings me.